Raccoon Origin Story

In the beginning, there was chaos. Primal matter – ephemeral, violent, unpredictable.

Over time, chaos coalesced, forming stable patterns. There was night and there was day. Then came earth, fire, water and wind. This raw matter gathered into more complex patterns – into life. The skies buzzed with life, the oceans flowed with life, the land teamed with life. And the carnivorous forest? The carnivorous forest groaned and growled and hissed and howled with life! Continue reading

Consider it a gift

Pigeon HeadOne day, a stupid pigeon left its home in the concrete jungle to visit the carnivorous forest.
It found a little clearing in the woods and set about pecking and scratching for food in the sand and pebbles of the clearing. Pecking and scratching like it was foraging for food in the concrete jungle.

Safe.

Ignored.

Ignorant.

Pecking and scratching like Direwolf wasn’t napping a few feet away.

However, Direwolf WAS napping a few feet away from the flying rat. Direwolf taught the little fucker a lesson and bit its head off before it even THOUGHT about going airborne.

Pigeon bodies make a good enough appetizer.  Heads? Not so much. So Direwolf decided to deliver the pigeon head back to the humans in the concrete jungle.  Direwolf left the head at the edge of a hotel parking lot for all the losers to stumble across and ponder on their way to/from their wedding receptions, conferences and stupid dress-up conventions.

Consider it a gift from the Direwolf and a reminder that the Carnivorous Forest is in your back yard.

Puppy Love

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You seem to love it when I abuse you, you beg for treats but I refuse you,
you love to go for rides in cars so I drive you miles from home and try to lose you,

I inappropriately rub your fur the wrong way
and step on your tail almost every day,
You’re terrified when I chase you from room to room
with the wicked puppy-mulching vacuum,

no matter what I do you won’t go away,
in fact, you choose to stay!
I’m your master, you’re my dog, but somehow I live to amuse you,
and you fucking love it when I abuse you.