Bears Visit the Electric Forest: Day 2

Day 2 starts with the fish spoiling in the heat and having to dispose of it. Searching for the mythical showers and finding a lot of other things including hammocks with people – bear burritos. Make a squealing sound when picked and chewed on. Not as good as expected. Gritty, dusty and oily. About an hour after eating, things became quite psychedelic.
Einstein Project.
Bear friends give proper directions. Still across an arid plain but only 3 hours which we will traverse quickly so rain retribution down on the RACOOOOOONS!)

Chocolate alien

What if we encountered aliens and they smelled GREAT?
Maybe they smelled like peanut butter and banana or maybe they smelled like cinnamon toast.

If aliens smelled so great to us, you


someone, somewhere, sometime would find a way to lick an alien or maybe even BITE.
And, then, what if the aliens tasted as good as they smelled? Maintaining diplomatic relations with a sentient race that smelled and tasted delicious to us would be really unusual and probably quite…Challenging.
It is that kind of thing that would make us realize what kind of predators we really are.

Bears visit the Electric Forest: Day 1

Bears live in the carnivorous forest for a reason. It is dark. It is cool. Bubbling streams of water are plentiful, as is the hunting. Sometimes, though, a Bear’s curiosity needs sating as much as its hunger does. Consequently, when the local raccoons spoke of rumors of strange, unnatural happenings (music! freaks! phantasmagoria!) in the Electric Forest to the west, we had to see it for ourselves.

One of the raccoons had a cousin thrice removed who had traveled to the Electric Forest and provided us with directions (Danger! Danger!). He said it was a pleasant 3 hour tour of the lands between the forests. Why we believed him, I’ll never know. Like everything that comes out of a raccoon’s mouth, it smelled fishy. The problem was that it rang true enough that we didn’t see through the trickery that should have been as clear as the nose on our muzzle. It’s never just a three hour tour. Instead, it was six grueling hours traveling across an asphalt jungle with a tropical sun beating down on two dark, painfully furry coats.

Bear Highway

Finally, we crawled to the edges of the electric forest and were provided shelter by a band of bear-friendly misfits. Even though it was the closest camp possible to the trees, it was not close enough to be sheltered by the trees. Rumors of showers and running water appeared to be unsubstantiated.

Bear friendly campsite

See the foot? They were tempting us

Encouraged by the proximity of the forest, we created a bear cave from our meager supplies (having prepared more for a forest than an arid plain), went exploring and immediately saw wonders and weirdness.


Stilt Walkers

There were stilt walkers stalking the boundaries of the forest.



There were posers framing the entrances of the forest.

Even stranger inhabitants.
Also found Reggie and stayed to listen to the music (because bears have a sense of humor).
Then we saw…a fish! A gigantic fish! A fish with a cigar and that means smoked fish!
It was no match for two hungry bears and we quickly took it down and dragged it back to the camp relieved that we now had food enough to last us for days.

Glow Tent

Strange dens

Fashion for the Bear about town

Occasionally, even I have to leave the carnivorous forest to interface with the human world.  In those cases, I find it better to draw as little attention to myself as possible.  This is best served by blending in with the natives as much as possible. However, I am a bear that is severely lacking in fashion sense. I guess bears dressed in leather motorcycle jackets and “I Failed the Turing TestThinkGeek Tshirts attract attention…and not the positive kind. Continue reading