You seem to love it when I abuse you, you beg for treats but I refuse you,
you love to go for rides in cars so I drive you miles from home and try to lose you,
I inappropriately rub your fur the wrong way
and step on your tail almost every day,
You’re terrified when I chase you from room to room
with the wicked puppy-mulching vacuum,
no matter what I do you won’t go away,
in fact, you choose to stay!
I’m your master, you’re my dog, but somehow I live to amuse you,
and you fucking love it when I abuse you.